Why does everyone's birthday come around faster than mine?!

No, this was not a question posed by me (not this year, anyway).  It was asked by my five-year-old son, after I informed him we would be attending a birthday party for a friend that evening. 

I have found one of the most frustrating aspects of parenting is explaining TIME to children.  It almost makes me even more insane.

"I don't want to go unless it's MY birthday," he whined. 

"Your birthday is in July," I told him.  "It's not until the summer.  You know, when there's grass on the ground, and we can wear swimsuits?"

"But that's not for a long time! Why does everyone's birthday come around faster than mine?" he cried.

"Well, everyone's birthday comes around just once a year, and everybody has to wait the exact same amount of time before their next birthday," I explained.  "So Beckett's birthday is today, and he had to wait a whole year for it.  Would you like me to get a calendar and show you?"

"No," he offered.

And after he informed me that he didn't want to go to anyone's birthday, ever, except for his own, I decided to wax philosophical.  Great idea with a five-year-old, right? Especially one that is tired, and at this point has buried himself under his covers on the bed.

"Honey, today is when we go celebrate with Beckett, and sing happy birthday, and honor that he was born on this day three years ago," I said, rubbing his back over the comforter, while patting myself on the back for making this a teachable moment.

I continued: "So, when your birthday comes, we will sing 'Happy Birthday' to you, and tell you how glad we are that you were born.  Everybody just has one birthday each year."

At this point, he interrupted me and said, "Mom, I am plugging my ears. I can't hear you."

I began hearing the voices of Charlie Brown's parents: "Wahh wah wahhh wahh wahh wah wahh."

Wahhh wah wahh indeed.